The Finger

Nothing gross intended, but personally, I hold the view that the middle finger is the most valuable & tangible asset that every human possess. Really!

    The finger has come of age. It has taken up a lot of responsibilities & has built up its image of something very authoritative. It has become a masquerade of malevolence; an instigator of a skirmish.  It’s even become mightier than the pen, let alone the sword. A nod’s as good as a wink. All the finger needs to deliver its punch is a clear line of sight. You can jeer & sneer an oversensitive guy his ass off just by lifting the finger off your palm. Put it straight up, & suddenly you feel all gutsy.  You save swearing at somebody by a “f**k off” or a “go to hell” or a “screw you.”  Just use the finger instead! Or for a far-reaching effect upto the point where you get your collars held tightly, an intelligent combination of such verbal & non-verbal cues can really get on the nerves of your opponent. By jabbing a threatening phallusy thingy at your enemy like a wild animal, more than just belittling him, you are relieving yourself! You are venting out your frustration.

 When I began to understand the nuances of this trick called “bird flipping”, sometimes appended with “Take this” or “Kiss it,” I wondered how women use this technique. How on earth could they “flick” someone off? They don’t have it, right? Then what do they raise it for? Gradually, I began to realize the universality, apart from versatility, with which this finger can be used. I believe it is the most effective & quickest means to threaten or mock at somebody. It’s almost as great as Tendulkar as a batsman or Napoleon as a dictator. All it takes is that little something.

The middle finger is the first refuge of the teenagers. It is the most silent way to make the victim known that “Dude, I am in no mood of a conversation with you. You annoy me any further, I hit you real bad.” A real boon for the timid & timorous out there - an effective way to get even with the one who tries to bully you, considering the fact that you hardly possess the moral fiber to come to grips with your opponent. It’s a psychologically cathartic tool! Quite handy!

So, the moral of the story is, instead of shunning this "obscene" gesture, we must treasure its rich cultural heritage. We are living in the Golden Age of The Finger. Get used to it. Cheers to  the middle finger! Go & give it!